


Small Miracles

by artikgato



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Canon Temporary Character Death, December Spoilers, M/M, November spoilers, naoto's in this, offscreen teddie, this is my first persona fic please be gentle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 02:59:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4689806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artikgato/pseuds/artikgato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't to back to your house tonight," Yosuke said. Souji blinked at him. "I mean, I don't want you to go back to an empty house, Partner."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Small Miracles

**Author's Note:**

> So I very recently played Persona 4 for the first time, after somehow managing to dodge spoilers for the seven years that the game has been out, lol. While I was playing through the events of November/December, I couldn't help but think that it was really sad that the rest of the IT just kind of let Souji/Yu go home to an empty house, not worried about how it would affect him. I was also struck with how unemotional Souji/Yu was during the entire thing (though thankfully P4 the Animation handled that extremely well), and thus I got the idea to write this. 
> 
> This story is a sort of kind of AU. It's mostly based on the events as they happened in the game, but with them not finding out about Nanako actually being alive until the next day, like in P4 the anime, rather than on the same night that they confront Namatame and all that. 
> 
> Also, a note about why I used the name 'Souji Seta' instead of 'Yu Narukami' - I actually named my protagonist 'Yu' for my playthrough of P4, and the original draft of this (which was only about half as long) used 'Yu' instead of 'Souji', but then I fell down the fanfiction rabbit hole and got too used to the name 'Souji'. There's just something about that name that flows better, and in any case (in my opinion) Yosuke saying 'Souji' sounds waaaayyyy hotter than 'Yu'. IDK.

The events of the day were one big, long blur to him, and Souji was getting tired of replaying them endlessly in his mind. But, as he stared down at the beaten and battered form of his uncle lying in that hospital bed, it was all he seemed to be able to do. When Dojima had handed him that letter - should he have lied? Should he have tried to convince the detective that it was just a prank? Would Dojima have even believed him? At the time he had thought that finally telling the truth was going to be the best course of action, but all the truth had done for him was gotten him trapped behind a locked door in a tiny, dimly lit room in the police station, scared out of his mind for Nanako. If only he had been able to convince Dojima not to go to the station, Nanako wouldn't have been home alone, Nanako wouldn't have been kidnapped, Nanako wouldn't be in danger-

He managed to shake himself out of the spiral of dark thoughts when he realized that one of the nurses was speaking to him.

"...late, there's nothing more that can be done for tonight. You should go home for now. If anything changes about his condition, we'll call."

Souji could only nod, dumbly, and let a worried-looking Naoto lead him out of the hospital room, too shaken to trust his voice at all. He knew Naoto wasn't going to say anything about it, and he also knew that she was just as shaken as she was. Of all of their ragtag investigation team, she had been the closest to Dojima aside from Souji himself. They hadn't exactly been friends, but seeing the normally tough and strong Ryotaro Dojima battered and bruised and broken like that was enough to shake anyone's confidence. And the way he had pleaded, _begged_ them to save Nanako...

He found himself drawn out of his thoughts yet again when Naoto stopped abruptly. He realized that they were in the hospital lobby. The rest of the investigation team had already gone home hours ago, and with it being nearly three in the morning the lobby was completely deserted. Or at least, it should have been, but there, slumped over in a chair and fast asleep, was Yosuke.

"He didn't go home," Souji said, with a frown. They made their way over to him and Souji shook his shoulder gently, calling his name, and the other boy awoke with a start.

"...shit," he cursed, with a deep frown. "I was waiting up for you. Or at least, I was trying to," he explained, with a yawn. "I guess that didn't work out huh?"

"Why didn't you go home with everyone else?" Souji questioned, and Yosuke rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, Partner, why would I do that? I'm your second-in-command, I'm supposed to be here for you," Yosuke replied, with a cheeky little grin. Souji didn't comment on the fact that it looked more than forced. Yosuke looked exhausted, but then again, he was sure he didn't look any better.

The three of them left the hospital together, Naoto filling in Yosuke on Dojima's condition, while Souji walked between them, trying desperately not to let his mind go back to the dark thoughts that had been filling it for some time now. Before he knew it, Naoto was saying goodbye to them, turning to walk down the street that would lead to her grandfather's house, leaving them alone. Souji's house wasn't far from here, but Yosuke had quite a ways to walk. Souji frowned.

"Are you sure you'll be fine going home alone?" he asked. Yosuke stopped walking, and Souji continued a couple of paces before realizing it, and stopping as well. He turned to find Yosuke facing him with a severely worried look.

"Don't to back to your house tonight," Yosuke said. Souji blinked at him. "I mean, I don't want you to go back to an empty house, Partner." Souji was quiet for a moment.

"...worried I'll do something drastic?" Souji finally asked, thinking back to the way Teddie had had to hold him back from jumping into the TV in the back of the delivery truck. Yosuke bit his lip, looking away at the ground by his feet.

"Yes," he replied, uncharacteristically serious. Souji drew in a breath, eyes wide. Yosuke looked back up at him, and he could see that the other boy actually _was_ afraid. It made sense, Souji found himself thinking. He had displayed an uncharacteristic amount of anger and desperation tonight, when he'd been able to keep his cool in situations equally as dire time after time before. The difference now was that Nanako and Dojima were involved.

Souji let out the breath after what felt like ages.

"Okay," he replied, and Yosuke beamed at him, the tension broken.

"Good, because I already called my parents ages ago to make sure it was okay for you to stay over," Yosuke admitted, a light blush dusting his cheeks. They resumed walking again, Souji pointedly choosing not to look in the direction of the road that would take him back to the Dojima residence.

Yosuke trudged along beside him, silently, and he could tell from their uneven footsteps that they were both totally exhausted. It had been a long, long day. If he had just lied to Dojima...if Teddie had just let him enter the TV in the back of that truck...if they had figured out that it was Namatame sooner...

Souji was so tired of ifs. What if Nanako was already dead? None of the others that were thrown in the TV had been in any real danger until there was a fog, but still. Nanako was only a seven year old girl. What if the Shadows were too much for her? What if she met her own Shadow? And even if she wasn't in mortal danger, there was the fog inside the TV. If they stayed too long inside the TV world they started to get sick, so what did that mean for a little girl? Was she already getting sick? Would they make it in time? What would happen if they _couldn't_ save her? What if-

"Souji," Yosuke was saying, and there was a hand on his upper arm. Souji started a little, both from the sudden intrustion into his thoughts, and the fact that Yosuke had actually used his _name_. He looked up to meet Yosuke's worried eyes. They were in the shopping district now, not too far from Yosuke's house. He hadn't even noticed. Souji didn't - couldn't - say anything, just letting his eyes fall back down to the ground.

"I know you're tired, man. I am too," Yosuke continued, and Souji just nodded. Yet again, he didn't trust his voice. Yosuke sighed. "Listen, we've saved so many people that were thrown into the TV. Yukiko, Kanji, Rise, Naoto, even that bastard Kubo, we saved all of them, they're all totally healthy and totally alive. I'm sure we'll save Nanako too." Souji just nodded, letting Yosuke continue. "But you've got to stop beating yourself up about it, okay?" Wow, if Yosuke had been able to read him so easily, Souji really must _have_ been totally exhausted. He swallowed, thickly, and nodded again. Yosuke's grip tightened a little on his arm, and he looked up. Yosuke, dark bags under his eyes, had the most worried expression that he had ever seen on the brunette's face. Even more worried than he had been when Saki had gone missing.

"...I know," he finally managed to choke out. Yosuke held the silence for a couple of beats, and then sighed again.

"Listen, I'm about to do something really embarassing, and I need you to not tease me about it, okay?" Yosuke asked, and before Souji could even wonder what in the world he was talking about, Yosuke was wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pulling him into a hug. Souji was stunned for a second, and it wasn't until Yosuke said something else that he realized that he had wrapped his arms around Yosuke's waist, or that he was shaking, or that his eyes were burning, his throat tight.

"I know I said this is for girls but you really seem like you need it, so just-" Yosuke was saying, even as he was actually holding him tighter now, and Souji, despite how serious the night had been, found himself geniunely smiling.

"Thank you," he cut off Yosuke's protest, and the brunette wisely decided to shut his mouth. They stayed like that for a while, he honestly had no idea for how long, but Souji wasn't sure what time it was any more anyway and didn't think he really cared at this point. The street was deserted, and it was cold and dark, and Yosuke was warm and hugging him. It felt so nice.

Souji forced himself to focus on walking, on the steet in front of him, on Yosuke beside him, until they finally arrived at the brunette's house. They quietly stepped inside, leaving their shoes at the entrance, and discovered a passed out Teddie on the couch. Upstairs in Yosuke's room, the spare futon - the one Teddie was using - was laid out on what looked to be a hastily cleaned up patch of floor beside Yosuke's own bed.

"Well, I'll be damned," Yosuke muttered. "That bear can be surprisingly considerate." Yosuke bent down to retrieve what looked like a note that was laying on the pillow, chuckled, and handed the note over to Souji with a wry smile. 'Dearest Sensei', the note read, and Teddie's handwriting was absolutely abominable, but still barely legible. 'You can use my futon for the night. I will be the sacrificial bear and sleep on the couch. Please get some good sleep. We'll rescue her, I know we will!' Instead of signing the note, Teddie had drawn a picture of his mascot form winking and giving the 'victory' sign. Souji felt a fond little smile creep onto his face, but before he could do anything with the note, something made of cloth hit him in the face.

"Ah, sorry! I thought you heard me say heads up, Partner," Yosuke apologized, as Souji reached up to remove a long-sleeved orange shirt that had become draped over his face. A pair of black sweat pants were lying at his feet. He blinked, and it took his brain a few seconds to register these as pajamas. He bent down and picked up the sweat pants, giving Yosuke a nod. The brunette grinned at him, and it barely looked forced this time. "The bathroom's over there."

Souji changed quickly, not wanting to get caught up in dark thoughts again, but as he made his way carefully through Yosuke's messy room over to the futon Teddie had laid out, he felt the guilt and anger and terrible, agonizing fear start to creep up on him again. What if we aren't enough? What if I'm too exhausted to save her? What if we are too late? I should have gone in earlier, damn it. I should have lied about the note, I should have been there for her-

This time, what broke him out of his reverie was Yosuke, sitting heavily down right beside him with a sigh.

"You can't sleep if you don't lay down," the brunette said, accusingly, and Souji realized that he had sat down cross-legged on the futon several minutes ago, but hadn't actually made any attempts to lay down or go to sleep. Souji let his head droop. He was so _tired_ , but he'd never be able to get to sleep like this.

"I don't think I can sleep right now," he admitted.

"Too worried?" Yosuke asked. He nodded. Yosuke rose from his sitting position and walked over to his own bed, returning a second later. Souji didn't bother looking up, so when a pair of orange headphones dropped over his ears, he was actually startled. He looked up, seeing Yosuke kneeling in front of him, grinning that almost-not-forced grin of his. A song started playing, slow and soothing violin and piano. Yosuke didn't say anything, just pressed the mp3 player into Souji's hands and started to stand up. Before the part of Souji's brain that told him not to act on impulses could protest, he had reached up and caught Yosuke's arms, preventing him from getting up.

"I don't think I can sleep alone," he said, surprised at how broken it sounded, and evidently Yosuke was pretty surprised too.

"B-but you won't be," Yosuke stammered. "My bed is right over there..."

"Y-yeah, sorry," Souji replied, hastily letting his arms go. "That was...that was dumb. Forget it. Thanks for the..." he trailed off, gesturing to the headphones. Without waiting to see what Yosuke's response was, he abruptly turned away and slipped between the blankets of the futon, laying down stiffly with his back turned to Yosuke. He was blushing. What the hell was he doing? Even if he was exhausted and stressed and worried sick, that had crossed a line, and the last thing he needed right now was to alienate Yosuke. He needed his support, and-

He felt the blanket of the futon being lifted, and before he could figure out why, there was a warm body pressed up against his back, with a resigned sort of sigh.

"Only for tonight," Yosuke explained, and Souji had to try really hard not to think about the way Yosuke's breath was tickling the back of his neck. "And only because it's so cold." This didn't mean anything. It was just because Souji was such a mess tonight, and Yosuke was just being nice. Yeah.

It took Souji a while to relax, but eventually the relaxing music and the warm, familiar presence at his back lulled him into unconsciousness.

  
He woke up, of course, when Teddie came into the room the next morning to inform them that breakfast was ready, only to make such a loud garbling shriek that he could have probably awoken the entire neighborhood. Souji just pretended to be asleep as Yosuke angrily shushed him, and Teddie stammered out apologies for interrupting Sensei and Yosuke 'scoring', which earned him a pillow in the face and Yosuke lunging across the room with a threat of permanently shutting him up. Keeping his eyes closed and his breathing steady actually made it so that as soon as they were done bickering - in hushed whispers, frantically trying to not wake him up but also still be mad at eachother - he was able to drift back off to sleep.

He felt...better when he woke up. Not one hundred percent okay, probably not even eighty percent, but he felt a little better. His stomach didn't tie itself in knots when Nanako was mentioned, which was good. He was able to stomach the breakfast that Teddie delivered him: a nice western-style breakfast that was probably courtesy of Yosuke's mother. He hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep, but that didn't matter. They were going to save Nanako. They were going to save her _today_ , no matter what.

 

  
For the second day in a row, Souji found himself in the hospital at three in the morning. He thought he should have felt twice as exhausted, but the knowledge that Nanako wasn't in mortal danger anymore seemed to lift his spirits just a little bit. Of course, seeing her in that hospital bed that was far too big for her, hearing the doctor saying that he couldn't make any sense out of her symptoms...that was worrying.

It seemed that Yosuke understood that, because there he was, this time fully awake and slumped in the same chair in the waiting room. His smile still looked forced, but at least it was there.

"Don't go home again tonight," he said, when they stopped at the crossroads where Souji would have to part with him to go home. Souji felt a smile tug at his lips, but made it turn into a frown instead.

"We have school tomorrow...today," he replied.

"We can skip," Yosuke said, and cut off Souji's protest with a _look_ of stubborn concern that Souji hadn't known he was capable of. "I'm sure the teachers will understand if we skip for _one day._ You've been through a lot."

"And you?" Souji asked, with a resigned sigh. Yosuke snorted.

"Before I met you and Chie and the others, I used to skip all the time. It'll be fine!" the brunette replied, slinging an arm around Souji's shoulder and all but dragging him in the direction of his house. "Besides, I already texted my parents and got permission." Souji shook his head in disbelief.

"How considerate," Souji replied. Yosuke laughed, but even he seemed to realize how hollow it sounded.

"It's been a long day," he said. Souji just nodded. Yosuke hadn't bothered to remove the arm around his shoulders, and Souji very carefully did nothing to remind the other that it was there. It was nice.

Teddie was once again passed out on the couch, and his futon was again laid out on Yosuke's floor, with yet another note. Souji picked it up before Yosuke could read it, with a fond smile.

'Sensei - if you're gonna score with Yosuke please be gentle, he's really fragile!'

Souji couldn't help it - he burst out laughing. It started out as a couple of small giggles, and he tried to muffle them behind a hand, but then Yosuke demanded to see the note and that made him laugh harder. Irrationally, he held the note away from Yosuke, who tried in vain for several minutes to grab it, only for the slightly taller boy to hold it just out of his reach. Finally, evidently irritated by the full blown laughter that Souji was now utterly unable to control, he just stormed off, and Souji yet again found a set of pajamas colliding with his face.

"A-alright, fine," Souji gasped. Laughing felt nice, after the two days that Souji had just been through. He scooped up the pajamas - blue this time, Souji noted - and handed the note to Yosuke before scurrying off to the bathroom. When he emerged in the pajamas, he found Yosuke, completely beet red, with the note crushed in his hand, fuming. So, exactly what he'd suspected. He declined the offer for the headphones again, and he and Yosuke settled into their respective beds. He fell asleep easily this time.

 

  
Souji awoke the next morning to his phone buzzing furiously for several seconds. It was a whole slew of texts, first from Chie and Yukiko, then gradually from the rest of the investigation team, demanding to know where he was. He explained that he was skipping school today because he didn't feel well. He and Yosuke, and, eventually, Teddie, spent the afternoon playing video games and watching movies. It was nice, but Souji did eventually need to go home. He couldn't keep mooching off of the Hanamuras, and he did need to go back to school, and his school books were at the Dojima residence...

He didn't think anything in the world could have prepared him for the sight of the police tape around the front yard, the cold darkness of the house with no lights on...or for the feeling of stepping through the front door and not being greated with an enthusiastic "Welcome home, Big Bro!"

He lingered for a long time in the entrance hall, cold dread in his stomach. The beeping of his phone brought him back to reality. It was Yosuke.

"Hey man, this is gonna sound weird, but how are you on food? I was thinking about how there hasn't been anyone in the house for a few days, so the food in the fridge might have gone bad, and..." Yosuke babbled. The undisguised worry in his voice made something warm start to unfold in the place of the cold dread, and Souji found himself smiling before he could stop it. He padded over to the fridge and looked inside. There...wasn't much.

"Nothing went bad, but there isn't much in here. I guess I'll just order ou-"

"I'm bringing over stuff to make curry!" Yosuke interrupted. "And not the weird Mystery Food X the girls made that one time. Real curry. Do you use any special ingredients when you make it?"

And so, less than half an hour later, Yosuke was setting bags of groceries down on the countertops, with a sheepish grin.

"I...might have overdone it. I found some stuff on sale, and realized that if I just bought a few other things I had the ingredients to make... what?" Yosuke trailed off mid-explanation at the smirk on Souji's face. Souji shook his head.

"Nothing. Thanks, Partner," Souji replied. Yosuke froze, dropping the can he'd been lifting out of a bag, the clank seeming to snap him out of the sudden surprise at Souji using the nickname he usually called _him_. He turned away far too quickly, and though he was hiding his face, Souji could tell he was blushing from the redness in the tips of his ears.

"Y-yeah, no problem. But you know, I didn't do this for entirely selfless reasons," he continued, busily pulling things out of bags, before turning to beam at him, a smile that was not in any way forced. "Since I bought the groceries, I get to eat whatever you cook too, okay?" Souji smiled, nodding and stepping past him to start putting groceries away in their proper places around the kitchen. "Aaaand you know, it's so late now, and the curry'll take a while, so I might as well stay over tonight, right?"

Souji laughed. He'd noticed the duffel bag that Yosuke had carried in with him along with the groceries, but hadn't commented on it.

"Let me guess. You already got permission?" the silver-haired boy replied.

"Haha, yep!"

Souji was glad, though. If he was being totally honest, he hadn't been looking forward to trying to go to sleep in this suddenly, oppressively empty house by himself. And judging from the ingredients and amounts, Yosuke had brought over a week's worth of food. He found himself grinning again. He'd have at least one dinner guest every night this week. That was good. That helped.

 

  
The days passed like that - Souji going to school, Yosuke following him home for dinner. Occasionally Teddie dropped by, complaining that it wasn't fair that Yosuke was the only one that got to try Souji's cooking. The rest of the investigation team stopped by a couple of times, too, though not all at once. On the nights that the brunette couldn't stay over, he called right around midnight, and though he never actually told him, Souji was immensely glad for it. Days turned into weeks, and finals were approaching, and soon enough Nanako was well enough to visit in the hospital...

And then...

Nanako...

Yosuke didn't even have to ask this time. Without even sparing a glance in the direction of the road that lead to the Dojima residence, he'd simply just followed along beside Yosuke toward his house. His thoughts were a mess right now - confusion, grief, anger, sadness. The still form of his cousin, his honorary "little sister", laying in that too-big hospital bed, not moving, not breathing, getting colder...the awful sound of her heartbeat flatlining, seared into his brain... Not to mention, confusion about whether or not he'd done the right thing by sparing Namatame. And he was worried about Teddie, too. It wasn't like him to disappear like this, after all...

Teddie wasn't on the couch. The futon wasn't laid out on the floor, either, but tucked away in Yosuke's closet where it normally was. There was no note. Teddie hadn't picked up any calls. He...wasn't here.

"That stupid bear," Yosuke cursed. "Where could he have gone?"

"Maybe he's taking a walk, or something. Maybe he went back inside the TV," Souji suggested. He wasn't sure which of them he was trying to convince more. Yosuke heaved a sigh and pulled the futon out of the closet, scooting the debris that littered his floor over to one side to lay it out on the floor. Souji stayed standing by the door, unmoving, trying not to think. It was hard.

"Here," Yosuke said, holding out a pair of pajamas to Souji. He nodded, taking them and moving mechanically over to the bathroom. He put them down on the sink and found himself staring at his reflection. He looked awful. His hair was a mess, there were dark bags under his eyes again, his skin was pale, and the expression on his face was one of utter revulsion. He had let Nanako down. He couldn't stand to look at himself. If only he'd lied to Dojima that night, she wouldn't have been kidnapped. If only he'd gone through the TV in the back of the truck, he could have pulled her out in time. If only he'd tried harder!

His knees wouldn't hold him up anymore. His legs felt like jelly as he sank down to kneel on the floor, face in his hands, and he sobbed. Pathetically, bitterly, he heaved and sobbed and cried. What kind of "big bro" was he? Why did he have the powers that he did, if he couldn't even save the people most precious to him? What was he going to do if Dojima didn't recover either? What if there really was someone else involved in this case, the true murderer? What if they didn't stop at Nanako...what if they went after his friends, too?

There was a knock at the door. "Partner? Are you okay in there?"

What if they went after Yosuke?

"Yeah, I" his breath hitched, damn it, "I'm fine."

"You don't _sound_ fine," Yosuke replied, and Souji could hear the frown in his voice.

"Just give me a minute," Souji replied, reaching for a towel to wipe his face with. Damn it.

"...is there anything I can do?" Yosuke asked, timidly, after a few seconds of silence. Souji heaved a sigh into the towel.

"Just stay there. Keep talking. I...I don't want to be alone right now," he requested.

"Well...then, come out here?" Yosuke suggested.

"...okay."

Souji had to practically pull himself to his feet with a grip on the sink, but he managed. His eyes were red, and it was obvious he'd been crying. Oh well. At least it was Yosuke here to see it, and not one of the others. They all still believed that he was calm, and strong, and capable. They weren't around to see him vulnerable, like Yosuke.

Yosuke...

...was important to him. Yosuke had told him he was important to him, too, but that was almost beside the point. Out of everyone in Inaba, after his family, Yosuke was the most important to him. He'd tried not to favor anyone, really, but Yosuke had been there from the beginning. He was his best friend. He was...so, so important to Souji. And at some point in the last few weeks of Yosuke bringing him groceries and calling him right before bed so that he wouldn't feel alone, Souji had come to realize that he was undoubtedly, irrefutably in love with him. And that was the problem. Yosuke had made it abundantly clear that he was straight, on many different occasions. Even if Souji confessed to him, he would never reciprocate. There was no question about it, considering the way he treated Kanji. It was eating away at Souji. And now, with Nanako...dead, and Dojima in the hospital, and Teddie missing, and the real killer still on the loose, now more than ever he wanted to keep the people important to him close. Now more than ever, he just needed...someone. If he acted on his feelings now, it would be bad, it would be the worst possible time, but...

Like the cold, awful dialogue a Shadow would spout, Souji felt chilled to the bone at his next thoughts. Now, more than ever, the entire investigation team needed to be together. Yosuke had a lot at stake in catching the true culprit. Even if things got...weird between them, Yosuke wouldn't abandon Souji or the rest of the team. So, really, wouldn't right now be the best time?

"Partner?" Yosuke called, and Souji's grip on the sink tightened. Trying to take deep, calming breaths, he changed into the pajamas, the orange and black ones from the first night Yosuke had dragged him back here. He knew he was acting out of desperation, he _knew_ it was a bad idea, it was pathetic, he was just still reeling from the loss of Nanako, and this wasn't a good idea...

Yosuke looked similarly exhausted. And worried, so, so worried. His phone was still clutched in his hand, undoubtedly he had tried and failed yet again to get ahold of Teddie. Souji exited the bathroom, eyes on the floor, bangs hopefully obscuring the redness around his eyes.

"...Souji?" Yosuke asked, timidly. Souji crossed the room to stand in front of him, still refusing to look at him.

"Yosuke. I'm going to do something selfish... please forgive me," Souji said. Before Yosuke could really react, he reached up, one arm going around Yosuke's shoulders, the other threading into his dyed hair, and he pulled him into a kiss. It wasn't soft, or timid, or tentative, or anything like what he had _thought_ his first kiss with Yosuke should have been like. It was desperate, and they were both entirely too cold, and it didn't last very long at all, maybe only a few seconds, before Souji had pulled back and turned away, eyes on the floor again, not wanting to see the look of revulsion that must have been on Yosuke's face.

"Uh, w-what..." Yosuke managed to croak out. Souji felt his eyes burning again and brought his hands up to press his palms against his eyes, hoping to stop himself from crying again.

"I'm sorry," he began, voice trembling. "I'm so, so sorry, I just, I just can't...the real killer is still out there, and they already took Nanako from me, and Dojima's in the hospital, and Teddie's missing, and I just started to think, what if the killer comes after us next? I couldn't even save a little girl, how can I save anyone? What would I do if the killer came after someone else important to me?" Souji was babbling, and he didn't care. He tried not to care that there were tears escaping his feeble attempt at keeping them at bay. He tried not to care that Yosuke hadn't said anything yet. He was expecting far too much. Yosuke hated him now, he was sure of it. He was still standing, a remarkable feat, but his legs felt like they would give out at any second again. He was so... _tired_.

"You must hate me now," Souji continued, and heard the sharp intake of breath from behind him. "I know, it's disgusting, right? It's bad enough that I'm your best friend and I'm a guy who has feelings for another guy, but I have feelings for you. It's awful, I'm so sorry, I...I just"

He stopped, because abruptly, Yosuke was hugging him. He hadn't heard the brunette move, but Yosuke's arms were around him, holding him tight, and it was only _because_ of this fact that he didn't just collapse then and there, because his legs were sure as hell not holding him up anymore.

"You idiot...I don't hate you. I could never hate you!" Yosuke choked out, and Souji realized that his throat must have been just as tight as his was. "I... Listen, before you came along I didn't have any friends here in Inaba. I was too... _different_ , you know? I've been so scared of being any _more_ different, so when Kanji's shadow came along, saying all that weird stuff, it freaked me out. And I've always been _taught_ that it's bad, you know? Guys should like girls, and do manly things, and not be into cute things, or girly things or...other guys." Souji was holding his breath, he could hardly believe what Yosuke was saying, but didn't even want to _consider_ the possibility that he might be...

"But, you know, since then, a lot of things have happened. And the more time I spent with you, day by day, the more I started to... to l-like you," Yosuke stammered. His arms around Souji tightened a little, and Souji thought he could feel his ribs creaking, but he wasn't going to complain, not now. "After we fought on the Samegawa, when Jiraiya became Susanoo, I thought about telling you then, but I was still so confused. I hated myself for the longest time, you know, because I wanted to be closer to you, and I liked being around you, but I thought I wasn't supposed to, not as much as I did. I never imagined you would ever feel the same way. After all, you're Souji Seta. All the girls at school fawn over you, Yukiko asked you out, _Rise_ asked you out...there was no way you would ever..." he punctuated this with a self-deprecating laugh, "Fall for an idiot like me."

Souji had already pulled his hands away from his eyes midway through Yosuke's speech, and now managed to wriggle them out from between them two of them, wrapping his arms around Yosuke's shoulders and pulling him closer.

"An idiot, who is kind, and loyal, and brave, and who's been taking care of me for almost a month now without me asking him to. An idiot that's seen me at my worst...and who doesn't care," Souji said. Yosuke sighed, burying his face into Souji's shoulder, undoubtedly to hide the fierce blush on his face.

"That's my line," he grumbled. "The line about seeing me at my worst. You totally stole it."

"Did not," Souji replied, softly. They stayed like that for a while longer, before Yosuke started to pull back and they separated, just kind of staring at eachother for a few seconds, before Yosuke looked away, blushing.

"S-so you really like me?" he blurted out, and Souji smiled.

"You have no idea how much," the silver-haired boy replied. Yosuke grinned back, shyly.

"Well, I bet I like you more!" he replied, and Souji chuckled.

"Don't tell me we're turning this into a contest," he responded.

"Of course! We're guys, it's what we do," Yosuke retorted. The smile fell a little on Souji's face, turning into a pensive little one.

"...and you're really okay with that? Me being a guy?"

"It'll...take some getting used to," Yosuke admitted, sheepish. He was scratching the back of his head, eyes darting around the room, before settling on the abandoned futon. "Oh, haha, right, we...should probably get to bed, right?"

And just like that, the moment was over. Souji's face fell. He'd been so preoccupied with Yosuke that he'd almost forgotten...

"Uh...n-no, I didn't...I'm sorry..." Yosuke stammered.

"It's...alright..." Souji managed to say, walking past him and settling heavily down on the futon.

"Uh, if you want, you can borrow my headphones again. And...and I can sleep with you, if you want..." Yosuke offered. About half a second after he finished saying it, he went bright red and abruptly slapped his hands over his now beet red face. "I didn't mean... I meant sleep beside you, l-like the first night..." Souji nodded, slowly.

"Yes to the headphones, and yes to the...sleeping beside me. If you don't mind."

 

  
Yosuke's music was as soothing as always, and he'd even thrown an arm around Souji's waist this time, body pressed against his back, but... he was wide awake. Souji just couldn't fall asleep. It was impossible, with thoughts of Nanako, and Dojima, and Teddie, and all of their friends, and this awful, persistent fog that was most likely from the TV world, and all of the mistakes he'd made...

"Can't sleep, huh?" Yosuke asked him, suddenly. He sounded wide awake, too. No use trying to make it sound like he'd just woken up, then.

"No," was his only response.

"I just keep thinking about Nanako, and about the case, and about the fog..." Yosuke sighed.

"Me too," Souji replied. He shifted, letting go of Yosuke's arm, and Yosuke withdrew it, to flop over on his back.

"It's just so unfair," Yosuke continued. Souji rolled over to face him. "There's nothing we could have done...there's nothing I can do for you now...it just sucks." Souji swallowed, thickly, his throat suddenly dry.

"Not...nothing," Souji murmured. Yosuke looked at him, quizzically. "You could...help me get to sleep." Yosuke raised an eyebrow.

"That's what I'm trying to..." he stopped, mid sentence, as Souji reached a hand out, cupping his cheek, and scooted closer to him in one impossibly smooth motion. He kissed him, again, and this was the soft, tentative kiss he had been wanting. Yosuke was blushing, but he didn't look disgusted or revolted or anything even close to it when Souji pulled back, so he leaned in again, and this time the kiss was a lot more...heated. Yosuke gasped in to the kiss and then their tongues were meeting, and Souji took this as a good sign. That desperate longing from earlier came welling back up in him, the need to protect what was important to him, the need for Yosuke to _understand_ that he was important to him. He moved when they broke the kiss, hips stradling Yosuke's, hands planted firmly on either side of his face as he leaned over him, and Yosuke's eyes widened, holding his breath in alarm.

"If you don't want to do this, tell me to stop," Souji said, with that same firm tone he used to issue commands in battle. Yosuke gulped, face impossibly red.

"Will this help?" Yosuke managed to croak out. Souji could only nod. Yosuke looked away. "T-then do what ever you want."

"No," Souji replied, and Yosuke looked back up at him, surprised.

"W-what?" he stammered. Souji leaned down, bringing his face close to Yosuke's.

"I need you to tell me this is alright," Souji said, still with that firm tone. "Give me permission."

"Fuck, that was hot," Yosuke swore, looking away again. Souji was fairly certain that even his scalp was turning red at this point. "Yes, please, do whatever you want to mmph-" and Souji was kissing him, fiercely, and Yosuke couldn't do anything but melt and whimper into the kiss. And, god, that should _not_ have turned him on, but it totally did.

He needed this, Souji realized. After all the death and pain and misery, he needed to feel alive. He knew he was rushing this, knew it was probably a bad idea, too fast, too much, but damn it if he didn't _need_ this right now. He started moving, kissing along Yosuke's neck. Yosuke's breath hitched and he let out a breathy little moan, and the sound went straight to Souji's groin. Fuck, he had it bad. How had he ever been able to keep his hands to himself before now? He moved a hand to slide under the bottom hem of Yosuke's shirt, tracing along abdomen muscles, and Yosuke gasped, squirming a little. Souji's hand stilled.

"Bad?" he asked, breathless.

"N-no," Yosuke protested, also breathless. "Keep going." Souji nodded, and his hand moved up along Yosuke's chest, pushing the shirt along with it. Without a moment's hesitation, Yosuke grabbed the shirt and pulled it over his head, lifting his back just enough off of the futon to remove it entirely. He looked incredibly bashful, folding his arms over his chest defensively, but at least, Souji realized, he was eager. He leaned down and kissed Yosuke again, and the brunette's arms unfolded, hesitantly sliding around Souji to rest on his back. Souji pulled back from the kiss and Yosuke grabbed the back of his shirt, tugging it up with a frustrated look on his face.

"No fair if I'm the only one half naked," he mumbled, and Souji indulged him, stripping the shirt off with a fluid motion. With a little smirk, he reached for the waistband of his pants next, and Yosuke went red again. Souji stopped.

"Do you still want to?" Souji asked. Yosuke nodded.

"I-I want to, I'm just...nervous," the brunette replied. Souji smiled.

"Why don't we do it together, then," he suggested. Yosuke nodded, sitting up. He was still bright red, and his hands were shaking a little, but they both carefully gathered the waistbands of their pajama pants and their boxers in their hands.

"On the count of three," Souji instructed. And then they were both naked, and the awkwardness was over. Well, getting over, anyway. Yosuke was alternating between staring and being totally unable to look at any part of him. It was endearing, if frustrating. Souji countered that by pushing him onto his back again, straddling his waist and trying to kiss him senseless. Evidently he was doing a great job of it, because all Yosuke seemed to be able to do was groan into the kiss and squirm under him. His hardness brushed against Souji's and he went completely still. Souji smirked, kissing him harder and moving one of his hands, reaching down to grip both of their cocks. Yosuke gasped, moaning the word 'partner' into the kiss as Souji started to stroke his hand up and down both of their hard lengths.

Souji couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that this wasn't some crazy wet dream he was having. Yosuke, blushing and stammering and completely pliant underneath him, not complaining, protesting, or pushing him away. Yosuke, moaning and blushing and bucking his hips up into Souji's hand as he stroked them. Souji sat up a little, to give himself more space to build momentum, and Yosuke had to move a hand to his mouth to bite a knuckle and muffle the noises he was making. After a few strokes like that, Souji frowned and stopped.

"Lotion would make this better," he panted. Yosuke looked dazed, not responding for a few seconds before shaking his head to clear it.

"Bathroom," he managed to breathe out, exhaling halfway in relief and halfway in frustration when Souji got up and went to retrieve it. He didn't bother moving, and soon Souji was back, straddling his hips and kissing him again. He spread lotion over his hands and then resumed his stroking, and Yosuke moaned obscenities against his mouth when he did. Yosuke's eyes were squeezed shut, so he didn't notice what _else_ Souji was doing.

He knew he was going too far, but he didn't want to stop now. He was already so close to Yosuke, but he wanted to feel _closer_. He braced his forehead against one of Yosuke's shoulders, spread his legs a little wider apart. He made sure to keep up the steady, if slow, stroking motion with one hand, while he moved his unoccupied hand to carefully press slick digits into his own ass. He'd done this before, a couple of times, but never with such shaking, trembling hands, and never with Yosuke underneath him, or even in the same _house_ as him. And Yosuke, hips twitching up against him as he stroked them, had no idea. It was...really, really hot. He progressed easily to two fingers, groaning into his partner's shoulder, and Yosuke was totally oblivious, gasping and groaning unintelligibly against the hand pressed over his mouth. When Souji started to distinctly hear his name - not "partner" but his actual name - amidst the incoherent babble, he lost all patience. It happened fast, Souji let go of their erections and shifted forward just enough, slick hand gripping Yosuke's hardness, and brown eyes opened to blink at him questioningly.

"Partner?" Yosuke asked. Souji just smiled in response and pushed back, sliding Yosuke into him. Yosuke's breath caught in his throat. Souji just let his eyes slide shut, concentrating on relaxing as he moved the rest of the way back, impaling himself completely on Yosuke's hardness. He tried not to think of how stupid he was being, how he was rushing things way too much. He grabbed Yosuke's hips and started to move, and, fuck, it was so weird but so good, so _right_. Yosuke slapped his hand back over his mouth and moaned "Fuck, _Souji_ ", and he knew he hadn't gone too far at all.

Souji was tired, though. Exhausted. His movements were shaky and he faltered more than once. Yosuke gradually moved his hands, sliding them up to grasp Souji's hips. Souji was still in control, but Yosuke helped steady him, and started to move his hips as well. Souji's arms eventually just gave out and he buried his face in Yosuke's neck, letting him take most of the control. They had a good rhythm, but it was a weird angle for the brunette, and finally Yosuke just couldn't take it. He grabbed Souji's hips and pulled, flipping them over quite deftly, so that he was now leaning over a totally flushed and gasping Souji. Yosuke was kneeling between Souji's legs now, hands gripping his waist tightly, and, slowly at first, Yosuke started to thrust. This time, Souji was the one having to clap a hand over his mouth to keep quiet. Yosuke's thrusts were hitting a very different spot inside him, and as a result he was making sounds that were obscene even to his own ears.

He hadn't expected to like this so much. He'd indulged in a few fantasies during particularly dark nights as of late, but he had never even had a passing thought of what it might be like to give up control - for Yosuke, _Yosuke_ of all people to take it from him - and it was thrilling and amazing and frightening all at once. Souji didn't have the strength right now to do anything but move his hips in time with Yosuke's, watching the brunette with barely open eyes. He wasn't sure how long they lasted or who came first, and he didn't really care. It was hard to care about anything at all in the aftermath, with the euphoria that was climbing up his spine and tingling along all of his senses.

He was vaguely aware of Yosuke cleaning them up, pulling the blanket around them both, murmuring sweet words into the side of Souji's neck, draping an arm around his stomach to pull him tight against him. He drifted off to sleep at some point, warm and content and sated, and for the moment, that was all that actually mattered.

They woke up to a combined total of twenty-five texts, from various members of the Investigation Team, asking where they hell they were and reminding them of their agreement to meet and discuss the case. Neither of them wanted to get out of bed. It was going to be a long day. So, they put it off.

"We need to talk," Yosuke said. Souji just nodded.

It was some kind of miracle that neither of Yosuke's parents were home. There were also no texts or notes of any kind, so Yosuke was fairly certain that, somehow, they hadn't been heard last night, thank _god_. They tag-teamed breakfast, Yosuke handing pans and utensils and ingredients to Souji, who was cooking far more mechanically than Yosuke liked, but he understood.

It wasn't until empty plates and cups and silverware were safely in the dishwasher that either of them actually started talking about anything important.

"So, uh, about last night," Yosuke started.

"About last night," Souji parroted, his voice flat. Yosuke fretted for a second, cheeks turning pink, before he looked up, meeting Souji's eyes with determination.

"I meant everything I said," he replied.

"So did I," Souji replied. His voice wavered a little, betraying his calm somewhat, but he was honestly getting used to it around Yosuke. Being vulnerable, that is.

"G-good," Yosuke stammered, blushing further and looking at his hands, abruptly. He seemed to want to say something else, but couldn't seem to do it.

"Did I...did we go to far?" Souji asked, and Yosuke blinked at him, startled.

"I...don't think so?" Yosuke asked. Souji frowned at the hesitation in his voice. "I mean!" Yosuke was visibly panicking now. "It's... it's not like you took _advantage_ of me or anything, partner. I was...you needed, I...damn it." He heaved a long, frustrated sigh. "What I'm trying to say is that I don't regret a single damn thing about last night, and I hope you don't either."

"I don't," Souji confirmed. "I was worried that it was too fast for you."

"Well, I...should it have been?" Yosuke asked, sort of taken aback. Souji shrugged. "It helped, right?"

"It helped. Thank you, Yosuke," Souji confirmed. The brunette smiled.

"Good. So, um, are we..."

"Dating? I'd like to be, if you want to," Souji finished his thought for him.

"Y-yeah, I really would."

The two sat in a comfortable silence, dazed, for all of about thirty seconds before their phones started going off again.

"No sense in putting this off any more," Souji sighed.

 

  
The sound of the beeping heart monitor was too good to be true. Dojima was standing by her bedside, a smile on his face, tears in his eyes. The oxygen mask was fogging, her hand felt warm, he could feel her heartbeats.

Nanako was somehow, miraculously, alive.

Nanako was alive, and Namatame was, beyond any doubt, not the person who had murdered the first two victims. Nobody had even the slightest clue of who that person was, but they had proved once and for all that it wasn't Namatame. Souji should have been frustrated, furious even, but he couldn't feel anything other than a crazy mixture of relief and happiness that Nanako was alive. They were resuming their investigation, trying to find something, _anything_ that would point them in the direction of the true culprit. And Nanako was _alive_.

 

  
Yosuke didn't go home that night. His parents had gotten pretty used to it by now - as long as he confirmed it with them, and he showed up to school and to his shifts at Junes, they didn't seem to care all that much. They celebrated Nanako's miraculous recovery with a nice, hearty beef stew. They had plenty of time to make out on the couch while it simmered. As it turned out, making out with Yosuke was a lot better while Souji wasn't desperate and sad.

After dinner, Yosuke trailed upstairs after Souji and settled onto the edge of his futon, looking suddenly nervous. Souji blinked down at him from where he had been rummaging in his dresser for pajamas.

"Is everything okay?" Souji asked, and Yosuke nodded, a little too vigorously. Everything wasn't okay.

"Yeah, it's just...um..." the brunette started, suddenly blushing. Souji turned entirely to face him, pajamas abandoned for now, and gave a little nod to let him know that he had his undivided attention. "Well, last night, I...you...uh. Did...did it really feel that good? H-having my...my dick inside you?" The brunette was blushing furiously, arms folded tight over his chest, and very intently not looking at Souji at all. Souji's face reddened to match, cheeks burning.

"Yeah," he admitted. Yosuke turned his head a little, sneaking a glance at Souji's face before abruptly twitching his head back away. Souji swallowed, but continued, sensing this was important. "It did. It felt really good, Yosuke."

"I'll bet you say that to all the girls," Yosuke replied, turning back to face him with a bashful grin. The tension that Souji hadn't even noticed was abruptly drained out of him, and he sighed, relieved. If Yosuke could joke about it, he was okay with it. Good. He turned back to the abandoned pajamas, fishing a set of gray ones out for himself, and a pair of black ones out for Yosuke.

"If it was that good, maybe I should try it out?" Yosuke suddenly asked, and Souji felt his mouth drop open, dropping the pajamas back into the drawer in shock. He almost tripped on nothing as he practically whipped around in shock to stare at Yosuke, who looked both incredibly nervous and incredibly determined.

"Are you sure?" Souji asked.

"Well, no," Yosuke replied, suddenly staring at his hands, which were balled up into fists in his lap. "If I was with anyone else I wouldn't even consider it, but...I know you won't hurt me, Partner."

"You do realize that this is really gay right?" Souji was asking, the words pretty much tumbling out of his mouth before he could think about what he was saying. "Like, the gayest possible thing. Everything until now could be explained away as me being vulnerable and you not wanting to hurt my feelings, but this..." Yosuke looked annoyed now, so Souji abruptly shut up.

"I know that," the brunette grumbled, glaring. "And I'm not gay. Not...not completely," he amended, when Souji gave him a disbelieving look and a quirk of one silver eyebrow. "I mean, I like you, obviously, but I'm still attracted to girls, so..."

"Bisexual. You're bisexual, then," Souji supplied. Yosuke frowned, in thought.

"I don't think so. I don't like any _other_ guys. I don't think I could like any other guys. You're like, the one exception," he replied.

"I'm pretty sure there's a word for that," Souji replied, deep in thought.

"Anyway, just forget that I asked, it's stupid-" Yosuke started, but Souji moved to kneel in front of him, leaning slightly over him and into his personal space, and he faltered.

"Oh no you don't. If you want to do this, just say so," Souji demanded.

"I k-kinda do," Yosuke replied. Souji frowned.

"Kinda?" he questioned.

"I mean, I do! But what if..." Yosuke trailed off, helplessly lost for words.

"If you want to stop, or you feel uncomfortable, all you have to do is say so, and I'll stop," Souji replied, leaning forward to press a soft, chaste kiss to Yosuke's lips. "I won't get mad no matter what. Frustrated, maybe, but never mad." Another kiss, this one Yosuke leaned into eagerly, clinging to Souji's shirt. "I'll go as slow as you need me to." This time, he kissed him harder. He was practically between Yosuke's legs already, so all it took was a firm little push to make Yosuke lay back and let Souji hover over him. He shifted a little into a more comfortable position, forcing the brunette to spread his legs open a bit. He made a pleased humming sound into the kiss when he discovered that Yosuke was already hard, the other boy gasping into the kiss at the contact. They were content to just grind their clothed erections against eachother for a few moments, kissing desperately, before Souji forced himself to pull back and sit up, panting for breath while he tried to get his bearings straight.

"Fuck, why did you stop?" Yosuke groaned, a forearm across his eyes as he struggled to even out his breathing as well.

"Clothes," Souji managed to gasp. "Lotion. I'll...be right back."

"S-sure," Yosuke stammered. Souji kept his lotion tucked away in a back corner of one of his bookshelves, somewhere he knew that prying eyes would never find it. He made a mental note that if tonight went well, he might have to invest in some actual lube. The thought excited and scared him at the same time. Yosuke had managed to struggle out of his clothes by the time Souji joined him again on the futon, and the silver-haired boy wasted no time in shucking off his shirt and dropping his pants and boxers. They were both totally naked again, but the situation was different now. The lights were on this time, for one, so Souji could properly take in the lithe, well-toned body of his friend (partner? lover? who knew). He had been in good shape when they had first met, and if nothing else, months of fighting otherwordly creatures inside the TV had done wonders for his muscles. Souji knew he himself was definitely no slouch in that department, and the way Yosuke was staring unabashedly was definitely proof enough. A huge improvement over last night, where the brunette had barely been able to look at him. He caught Yosuke's eyes and the other boy blushed, but didn't look away. He smirked, and Yosuke groaned.

"Fuck, partner, when you look at me like that, you're so...it's so unfair..." the brunette explained. Souji chuckled and dropped the bottle of lotion beside him, kneeling in front of him again. Yosuke surprised him by immediately dragging him down into an open-mouthed kiss, pulling him so that he settled between the brunette's legs once again. He obliged by letting Yosuke slide his tongue into his mouth, sliding his own against the appendage and rolling his hips against Yosuke's. The brunette inhaled sharply, and Souji grinned against his mouth. He pulled back eventually, so that they could both gasp in a lungful of air, and he almost immediately moved to press a line of hot kisses down Yosuke's jawline. He moved his hands, too, planting one firmly beside Yosuke's head while the other moved to trail down his chest. He let his tongue trail over the brunette's bobbing adam's apple, tasting sweat and skin and _Yosuke_ , and brushed fingertips over one hard nipple. Yosuke jolted, making a distressed noise, and Souji immediately froze, looking up at him in concern.

"Are you-" he started to ask, but Yosuke cut him off, blushing furiously.

"Shit, sorry, I just wasn't expecting it to be so _sensitive_..." he explained, and Souji nodded. He carefully moved his hand back to where it had started, just above Yosuke's shoulder, but Yosuke made a noise somewhere between displeasure and annoyance and grabbed his wrist, moving his hand back down.

"I-I didn't say stop," he blurted, blushing and looking away. Souji responded by grinning and then grabbing him by the chin and kissing him, hard and enthusiastically.

"You're great," he said, when he broke the kiss, and Yosuke looked bewildered, the bewilderment very quickly turning to surprise as Souji moved his hand back down to circle a thumb around his nipple. Yosuke was making pleased little whimpers now, not sounds of confusion or displeasure, so Souji went further, gently pinching it. He couldn't resist leaning down and dragging his tongue across the little nub, making Yosuke gasp and arch up against him.

"G-god, don't _lick_ it," Yosuke whined, but moved a hand to gently grip Souji's hair and hold him there, paradoxically. Souji chuckled and kept at it, trailing his now free hand down, over Yosuke's well-toned stomach, over his hips...

The way Yosuke moaned his name when he closed his hand around the other boy's erection made him want to reach for the lotion right then and there, but he very carefully stopped himself. He abandoned the nipple and lifted his head to look up at Yosuke. His face was completely flushed, and he was watching him through barely open eyes. He saw the other boy's blush darken as he made eye contact and moved his hand up his shaft, thumb moving across the head of his cock and smearing around a wetness that could have only been precum. Yosuke groaned and broke eye contact, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as he arched up into Souji's hand. Souji found his gaze wandering down Yosuke's body as he continued to stroke his hand up and down the hardness, finding himself watching almost transfixed as the organ twitched in his grasp. He could feel it throbbing in his hand, could smell the musky scent of arousal, and suddenly he really, really wanted to put his mouth on it. He wanted to know how it tasted, wanted to know what kind of new noises his partner would make, and so he shifted, scooting back and sitting on his legs.

He kept his eyes locked on Yosuke's face as he lowered his head, heard the sharp, surprised intake of breath and saw his head snap up to stare, wide-eyed at him when Souji's mouth closed around the head of his cock.

"S-souji, what," he stammered, and Souji shut him up rather effectively by giving him a hard suck. He cried out the word 'fuck' and arched again, practically throwing his head back against the pillow. Souji eased up on the pressure, removing his hand and instead running his tongue down from the tip all the way to the base. Yosuke's hands gripped the futon when he did that, and he smirked, incredibly pleased at the reaction. With his hands free now, he reached over Yosuke to grab the bottle of lotion, taking as much of Yosuke's erection as he comfortably could fit into his mouth and gently sucking on it. While his partner's full attention was on that, he quickly coated his hands in what he hoped was a sufficient amount of lotion. One hand wrapped around the base of the brunette's cock and the other slid down, between his legs. Yosuke gasped and flinched away when he pressed the tip of one of the slick digits against his asshole, and Souji immediately stopped, pulling both hands and mouth away with a wet pop.

Yosuke looked startled, at first, and then guilty, and the finally ashamed, bright red face in his hands.

"Yosuke?" Souji asked, concerned, after a few seconds of silence.

"Sorry..." Yosuke finally croaked, the sound muffled. "Sorry, I..."

"We can stop," Souji finally offered, and Yosuke shook his head, adamantly.

"That's not it," he replied. Silence. Something finally occured to Souji.

"Yosuke, have you never..." he trailed off, unsure of how to phrase the end of his question in a way that wouldn't completely freak him out. It seemed like Yosuke understood what he was asking, though, because he nodded.

"I've...I've thought about it, but I've never, uh, touched myself there," he replied. Silence again, and Yosuke finally looked up, between his fingers, and met Souji's gaze. Slowly, he pried his hands away settled them against the floor at his sides.

"Why _not?"_ Souji asked, after a few moments of awkward silence. Yosuke grimaced.

"Well, I've always just thought it was...bad y'know? That's what I was always told," he explained. Souji frowned, and looked away. "But, lately I've found out that a whole lot of the stuff that parents and teachers have taught me is wrong, so..."

Souji finally looked back, and Yosuke looked incredibly pensive, but there was also trust in his eyes.

"I trust you, partner, so please, keep going," he finally requested, and Souji nodded, letting out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding.

"I'll be gentle, but it might hurt," Souji warned. Yosuke nodded, and he continued. "If it starts to hurt too much, or something feels wrong, just-"

"Tell you to stop, I know," Yosuke finished for him, with a small, loving smile that made Souji a little lightheaded. Slowly, giving him time to object, Souji pressed the tip of his pointer finger, still slick with the lotion, against Yosuke's ass. When Yosuke didn't flinch again, he carefully pushed it inside, and aside from the way his breath hitched, Yosuke didn't give any signs of distress or discomfort. He slowly and carefully slid the digit in and out of him a few times, before stopping to push in a second finger. Yosuke suddenly gripped at the futon, but when Souji looked up at him he just gave him a wary little smile, and he continued. He took his time, waiting for Yosuke to relax into the feeling of his fingers sliding in and out, before he finally pushed in the third finger. Yosuke let out a little pained gasp, gritting his teeth and choking out an "I'm fine" that meant he was anything _but_ fine when Souji looked up at him. But Yosuke hadn't said to stop, so Souji - slowly, gently, carefully - started sliding his fingers again, a little bit at a time. He leaned over Yosuke's body and took his hardness into his mouth again, his other hand once again closing around the base and stroking. That seemed to do the trick, and the little pained noises Yosuke was making started to become sighs of pleasure instead. Yosuke was so tight around his fingers, but slowly, slowly he started to relax again. Eventually, he was able to move them fairly easily, and decided to try something that he knew made _him_ feel good. He twisted his fingers on one push into Yosuke, curling them a little inside him, and immediately he knew he had hit the other boy's prostate. Yosuke cried out the words "holy shit", practically as one word, his hips twitching down _onto_ Souji's fingers, and Souji grinned around Yosuke's cock.

"W-what was...?" Yosuke panted, as Souji returned to just carefully sliding his fingers in and out of Yosuke. Souji pulled off of Yosuke's cock, removing his hand from the base of it to trail a fingertip down, past his balls to settle on the patch of skin just above where his fingers were sliding in and out of his ass. He pressed his finger against the skin, enough that Yosuke gasped.

"Your prostate," he murmured against the side of his cock, knowing Yosuke would feel the vibrations of his voice. The brunette moaned, the moan turning into an unintelligible cry as he curled his fingers again, pressing against his prostate now from inside and out. He felt his cock twitch against his cheek, and knew he was ready. He pulled away, and Yosuke whined and blinked up at him, clearly confused and craving the stimuli that had been there just a second earlier. With hands that he was barely keeping from shaking, he slicked up his cock with more lotion, reaching out and adjusting Yosuke's legs as he knelt between them, pushing them farther apart. One hand went to his cock, to hold it steady, and the other gripped tightly at his hip as he leaned over him.

"Tell me if it hurts," Souji finally commanded, and started to push himself inside. Once his swollen, throbbing head was inside that tight heat, the rest slid in easily, and it was a constant effort not to go faster, or harder, because damn did he want to. Tears were gathered at the edges of Yosuke's eyes, and he was gritting his teeth and clutching the futon tightly, but Souji decided not to pay attention to any of that, not until Yosuke told him to stop. Soon he was in all the way, hand going to Yosuke's dick now that it wasn't occupied with his own, and Yosuke was panting and trembling, but still not telling him to stop.

"I'm going to move now, Partner," Souji said, softly, and Yosuke managed to open his eyes and lock heated, lust-filled gazes with Souji before nodding.

Moving was amazing. The tightness, the heat, the friction - it was almost too much for him. Had he made Yosuke feel this good last night? He could only hope. It was everything he could do not to pick up his pace too much, opting instead for a controlled, slow build, just a little bit at a time. Eventually, they made it to the speed that he liked, and he started thrusting a little harder, a little deeper each time, and Yosuke started making the most amazing noises, groaning deep in his throat, moaning out Souji's name, choking out "fuck" or "so good" or "don't stop" every few thrusts. Souji couldn't have stopped, not even if he had wanted to. He reached the point where he was giving it his all, thrusting as hard, as deep, as fast as he could, and Yosuke's arms were around his shoulders, his legs wrapped around his hips, and he was dragging him down for sloppy kisses and rolling his hips up to meet his thrusts. He was close, so close, they were both so close, his hand moving wildly and almost randomly up and down Yosuke's cock.

"Nngh, fuck, Souji, I'm gonna-" Yosuke gasped out, and that was the only warning he got before Yosuke was twitching wildly into his hand, cum spilling over his knuckles and onto their stomachs. Yosuke was making ridiculously obscene noises against his ear as he rode out his orgasm, and that pushed Souji over the edge. He thrust in hard and deep and came. He tried to keep his weight off of Yosuke, but ended up collapsing against him anyway, pressing kisses against his neck almost on auto-pilot. It was a few moments before Yosuke seemed to realize that he was clinging to Souji, and a few more before he actually did anything about it, releasing him from the tight grip of both his arms and legs and letting Souji pull out of him. Souji forced himself to get up and retrieve a warm, wet towel from the bathroom to clean up his lover (and also friend and partner). Once they were cleaned up he helped Yosuke sit up and dropped the set of black pajamas into his lap.

"Damn, Souji," Yosuke finally said, after a moment of appearing to silently contemplate the pajamas. "That was, uh, that was really, really great." Souji couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, smug, and Yosuke rolled his eyes at him. "You were pretty great yourself, you know."

"I..." Yosuke trailed off, turning to look at him, searching his face. "I think I love you," he blurted out, after some time. Evidently, that took them _both_ by surprise. Souji just blinked at him, shocked, and Yosuke's eyes widened, mortified. "Uh, what I meant was-"

Souji scrambled to grip his shoulders as fast as he could have possibly managed, looking him directly in the eye.

"I love you too," he returned, before his brain could catch up with him and inform him that this was _insane_.

"T-this is crazy though, right?" Yosuke stammered, though he wasn't looking away. "I mean, I've only known you since _April_. We've only been together for two days!"

Souji just kissed him to shut him up. His hands slid up from Yosuke's shoulders to cup his cheeks, and he held him there, resting his forehead against his as he pulled back.

"We've been through countless near-death experiences. My little sister _died and came back to life_. There's a psychotic killer on the loose right now. We fight shadows all the time in the midnight channel. Our situation is not in any way normal," Souji stated.

"Y-yeah, but-" Yosuke started, and Souji shut him up again. This time he used tongue.

"I love you," he breathed, when he pulled back for the second time.

"I'll bet you say that to all the girls," Yosuke replied, with a mischievous grin.

"Nope, just you," Souji countered, sliding one hand to cup the back of Yosuke's head, while he started to trace his thumb in circles across Yosuke's cheek with the other.

"You saying I'm a girl, Partner?" Yosuke asked, though there was no heat or accusation in the question. Souji smirked.

"No way. I remember how you looked at the cultural festival," he replied. Yosuke laughed.

"That's fair," he replied. Then, after a beat of silence: "I love you too."


End file.
